
Building a Strong Bridge Between Parent and Teacher
Q. What
are some things parents can do to have a good working relationship with
teachers?
It's a lot easier in grade school, when there's only one,
or a couple of teachers with whom to interact. But through high school, there
are certain things every parent probably should do to befriend, support and
encourage a teacher, not to mention demonstrate to your child how important you
think it is to pay attention to school and get along with the teacher. Here are
some suggestions:
· Meet the teacher
and paraprofessional, ever so briefly, at an authorized time the week before
school starts. Don't just drop in, because teachers are really busy that week
getting ready for the children. You can call ahead and make an appointment,
limiting it to five minutes so that the teacher knows it isn't going to be a
Black Hole. A good school will have time set aside for parent visits, or you
can call the office and find out what time might work. Just introduce yourself,
say you want your child and that teacher to have a great year together, you'd
welcome a call or email at any time, and you're there to help.
· Volunteer, even
if you work full-time. The teacher works full-time, too, you know. Sign up to
read to the kids for 20 minutes once a week, if you possibly can, or to help
with room parties, field trips, straightening bookshelves, or whatever's
needed. Being willing to help and present in the classroom is a huge influence
on a teacher's attitude about your child in the early grades. In the later
grades, ask for helpful things you can do in the evenings, at home, such as
collecting project supplies, collating, stapling, preparing bulletin boards and
so forth.
· Watch how you
volunteer at school. Everyone's pressed for time, but the quality of your
volunteer time should be devoted toward helping meet the children's needs, and
having contact with teachers. You might want to pass up those very helpful, but
tangential jobs, such as organizing the school carnival or gift-wrap sale. Make
it a high priority to give your time to help with the learning process
directly.
· Communicate
through notes, especially thank-you's. You'd be surprised how boring a
teacher's mail is, so a day-brightener would be much appreciated.
· Never miss
conferences, Open House or big activities such as concerts, art shows and
science fairs, especially if your child's teacher helped plan the event. If you
and your spouse really can't be there, arrange an alternate time for a
conference and send a representative, such as a grandparent, to a special
event.
· If you have
concerns or don't like the way things are taught, hold your fire until you feel
you have a pretty strong relationship with the teacher. If you "shoot" too
soon, it'll come off as an attack. Even then, follow the 80/20 rule: make sure
80% of the teacher's contact with you is positive, and less than 20% negative.
· Don't try to
flatter the teacher, or suck up, but sincerely say up front, "I feel we're in
this together," and "I want the best for my child and for all children; how can
I help?" It will be music to that teacher's ears.
Homework: An
excellent guide is the book, Helping Your
Child Succeed in Public School by Cheri Fuller (Tyndale House, 1999).