Magic Words at Parent-Teacher
Conferences
Q. I get tongue-tied
at one-on-one meetings with teachers. They intimidate me, even though I'm a
college graduate, too. Sometimes I leave a conference not really feeling as
though I connected at all with the teacher, and other times, I get the feeling
that I offended the teacher somehow, but am not sure how. Help me get my ideas
across better!
You have to make the most of your time at parent-teacher
conferences. Effective communication techniques will help you:
·
learn
the most about your child's progress in a short amount of time
·
get
your points across
·
help
you advocate for your child
·
and
show the teacher you're a supporter and a friend.
Go over
this list and try to use some of the words, phrases and questions at your
conference:
What can I do for you?
I want to help
Cooperate
How can I make it easier?
I don't understand
Can you give me a couple of
examples?
Let's put our heads together
Innovate
Adapt
On the other hand, here are some no-no words and phrases NOT
to say because they might make the teacher defensive and interfere with your
goals of maximizing your child's learning experience:
Bored
Compel
Forced
Incompetent
Intolerant
Mistaken
Punish
Unreasonable
Do your job
You don't understand my child
You're doing it wrong
You're not doing enough
Come to the conference resolved to follow the 80/20 rule:
you should be listening for 80 percent of the time, and talking for just 20
percent. Good listeners learn the most, and teachers learn a lot about a child
if the parents are good listeners, not blabbermouths who monopolize the
conversation.
One last thing: if things are NOT going 100 percent great at
school for your child, and you have some concerns to share, bring a male to the
conference. Your husband and the father of the child is best. But if that's not
possible, bring a brother or a grandfather or a friend or a coach. Why? Because
educators are impressed when men get involved, and children tend to get their
needs met when significant men in their lives are involved. In some school
settings, it's a downright novelty. It's a sad commentary on sexism in our
society, but it's really true.
So BYOB . . . Bring Your Own Boy. :>)
Homework: See
the chapter, "Building a Working Relationship With Teachers," in the book, Helping Your Child Succeed in Public School
by Cheri Fuller.