Positive Parent-Child Interactions
Q. What's
the secret of communicating well with your child about school, especially when
the child might be having problems in the classroom?
Author Marc Fey of Focus on the Family contends that the
key is to create a home environment with three characteristics: acceptance,
firmness, and autonomy. They have been tied to school success, he says. When
they are in place in a home, school problems get solved a whole lot more easily
than in other kinds of homes.
Here are his suggestions for how to make a
child feel accepted:
- Show
affection.
- Offer
affirmation and praise.
- Be available and listening when your
child comes to you with a problem, no matter how tired or stressed out you
may be.
- Enjoy
your child.
- Educate
yourself on issues so that you can offer effective guidance and
assistance.
Here are ways to be firm:
- Clear rules.
- Consistent
consequences for breaking them.
- High
expectations for maturity and responsibility.
Finally, here's how to build your child's autonomy,
or self-control:
- Tolerate
and encourage individuality.
- Ask for
and value a child's opinion.
- Encourage
the child to express himself or herself.
Homework: See
more advice on
parenting from this author and from the website of Focus on the Family, www.family.org