Sex is all around us: on MTV and the
radio, magazine covers and in the halls of many high schools. It is becoming an
almost ubiquitous snare for teenagers who would like to avoid sexual
temptation. All sex outside of marriage is sinful, and history teaches us that
corrupt societies down through history have always been corrupt sexually, too.
It's clearly not in anybody's best interest to be having sex outside of
That's what God says in the Seventh
Commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14). Adultery is sex
outside of marriage - sexual immorality, which God takes very seriously, as
shown in the many instances in the Bible where those who engage in immoral sex
suffer grave consequences.
The Bible warns us to avoid sexual
sin for three reasons: (1) avoid alienation from God, (2) our own protection
from physical and psychological harm, and (3) because sexual sin does not
reflect the character of God. See:
1 Corinthians 6:18
Jesus knew how difficult it is to
resist sexual temptation, since He lived in a human body and no doubt
experienced it. But He sternly warned people against giving in:
"You have heard that it was
said, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' but I say to you, that everyone who
looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his
5:27-28, the Sermon on the Mount
"Watch and pray, that ye enter
not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
-- Matthew 26:41
On the other hand, He knew that we
would sometimes fail, but as long as we remember that sexual immorality is
wrong, and move toward repentance, He will forgive and encourage. Note how in
John 8:1-11, the crowd wanted to stone the adulteress to death, but Jesus
exposed their hypocrisy and gently rebuked her not to do it again.
He wants us to resist, though, and
among the reasons is so that we can encourage our friends to resist, too: "For
in that he himself hath suffered, being tempted, he is able to succour them
that are tempted." (Hebrews 2:3)
So here are a few ways a teen and
his or her parents can control the "urge to merge" and remain sexually pure:
for strength and obedience to hang on to virginity until marriage.
sex, make sure the young person knows the facts of life, and brainstorm ways
that he or she could get out of a tempting situation firmly and gracefully.
on the floor" while necking is a good rule of thumb.
touching in the swimsuit areas."
wouldn't wear an outfit out to lunch with Great-Grandma, don't wear it at all.
much good happens late at night, when it comes to teenagers dealing with raging
hormones. They might just thank strict parents - later, much later - who reduce
their opportunity for sexual sin by insisting that they come home at a decent
hour instead of staying out late doing who knows what. Smart parents will
develop a stairstep curfew with their teenager that loosens up year by year. On
school nights, a 10 p.m. curfew is not too strict. For weekends, you might try
10:30 p.m. for ninth graders, 11 p.m. for sophomores, 11:30 for juniors and
midnight for seniors, with special dispensation for special occasions such as
Homecoming. Yes, the teen will complain that "nobody" else has such a
puritanical curfew, but tough. Secretly, kids are glad they have parents who
care so much.
By Susan Darst Williams • www.GoBigEd.com • Heart Lessons
006 • © 2006