antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much,
but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper
cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't
peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man
walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste
funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"
Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows
are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was
artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you,"
says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at
DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went
to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man
woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor,
doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't --
I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went
to a seafood disco last week . . . and pulled a mussel.
14. What do
you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.
17. A group
of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing
their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of
the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they
moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in
an open foyer."
18. A woman
has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt
and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name
him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If
you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive
set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him . . . a
super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends,
with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in
By Susan Darst Williams • www.GoBigEd.com • Class Clown 011