Math Laugh Attack
York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public
school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a
ruler, a protractor, a set-square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning
press conference, the U.S. Attorney General said he believes the man is a
member of the notorious al-Gebra movement.
He is being
charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
is a fearsome cult," the AG said. "They desire average solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as
'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the
axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer
Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'"
to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to
have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers
-- Author Unknown
By Susan Darst Williams • www.GoBigEd.com • Class Clown 004